


To All The Boys I've Loved Before

by Army_of_pink_socks



Category: Fine Line - Harry Styles (Album), One Direction (Band), Walls - Louis Tomlinson (Album)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 13:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30106977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Army_of_pink_socks/pseuds/Army_of_pink_socks
Summary: Harry has never expressed his feelings out loud, so he chooses to write them on paper. One day, his love letters are mailed out under suspicious circumstances to all their recipients.Enter Louis Tomlinson, one of the recipients of said letters, who agrees to a fake relationship so he can make his ex jealous, and Harry can fool his current crush into thinking that the letters were a joke. It's a win-win, really.(Saw this prompt on Tumblr, and this is based on the book/ film series To All The Boys I Loved, so credit to them)
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 3





	To All The Boys I've Loved Before

Liam Payne is well-loved by everyone. Including me. Except, I can't have him. He is Gemma's boyfriend. Before he was Gemma's boyfriend, he was just Liam. He's always been there; well, not always. He's our next-door neighbour and has been for the last few years. My dad loves Liam because he's just macho af, and my dad is surrounded by Gemma... and well, me. I'm not exactly your typical man. I'm not masculine like my dad wishes I would be.

Gemma and Liam were laid out of the sofa whilst I was spread over the floor watching the TV. An advert for some French fragrance comes up, and I sit up quickly, turning to Gemma. "We should go to Paris for our Summer break!" I yell.

Gemma's eyes light up, and she nods. "Do you think dad will let you?" She asks, half pouting.

Suddenly, my shoulders drop, and I shrug. I've never flown alone before, and even though I'm a boy, my dad still treats me like a little girl simply because I'm the youngest child.

Liam must notice the sad look on my face and smiles, "He'll let you go if I go with you."

I grin and nod my head, agreeing. "Yes! That sounds perfect!"

I turned back to the TV, a massive smile on my face and got sucked up into a daydream.

Some time with Liam, possibly alone in a foreign country, almost sounded like a dream, one I was waiting to wake up from. I could picture all the cute things we could do together, like trying all the pastries and cheeses and wines and all the authentic French... well, everything. We could visit the Eiffel Tower and take photos in front of it, maybe even climb up it and see the view from the top...

\---

Later that evening, I was stood in the kitchen, making cookie dough, whilst Gemma was sat at the table, a mug of hot chocolate in her hands. I was preparing a baking tray when Gemma spoke up, "I broke up with Liam tonight." The cookie dough balls in my hands drop into the sugar bowl as I turn around to face her. Gemma didn't seem fazed in the slightest. It confused me.

"But why?" I ask a frown on my lips.

"I'm moving miles away for University. Liam is staying here." She says simply, shrugging. "I don't want to do a long-distance. It never works out."

"But it's Liam. Liam is the boy who's loved you more than anyone else has ever loved you. Other than me, of course." I grin half-heartedly.

Gemma rolls her eyes and stands, walking towards me, gently bumping her hip with mine. "You're far too invested in other people's relationships; when are you ever going to get into one?"

I scoop up a bit of the dough and put it in my mouth before continuing. "Liam would never hold you back, ya know? He's not like that." I protest, ignoring her previous comment.

"You shouldn't eat raw dough, Harry," Gemma says, frowning as she gives me a short hug. I hug back and hum softly.

"It's not too late, Gem. You could turn around and tell him you changed your mind." I continue.

Gemma shakes her head, sighing. "When will the first batch be done? I'm starving."

I glance over at the timer I had going, "Not long, a few more minutes." I sit down with her, take her mug, take a sip of her drink, and earn a playful glare. I hand it back as I wipe my mouth. "You two will get back together. You love each other too much; you wait." But even still, I know that isn't true. Gemma doesn't get back together with someone once they've broken up.

When the cookies were ready, I plated a few up on a couple of plates, handing one to Gemma. She smiles and takes a bite of one, and groans in pleasure. "Now, this is what I'm talking about." I laugh and quietly eat my own. I suppose working in a bakery comes in handy sometimes.

\---

The following day, the whiff of coffee enters my nostrils, and I skip downstairs as my life depended on it. "Dad is going to be upset when he finds out," I comment as I watch Gemma brew coffee.

"I'm not going to stay with Liam, just for you and dad." She replies sharply. I frown and stay quiet. She sighs and hands me a cup. "Sorry, that was harsher than intended." I nod and sip my coffee.

I was going to miss Gemma when she leaves. Not long now. I feel a little mad that she's going so far away, but she's always been one to travel and enjoy it, so I wasn't about to stop her now. We sit in silence as we eat our cereal and drink our coffee until our dad comes in and says good morning. I get up and make him a brew as he sits at the table, grabbing the paper in the middle and opening it. I hand him his mug before sitting back down and continuing eating and drinking.

"I'm heading to the shops later. Anything you two need? I was thinking of buying some grilled chicken. Should I get enough for Liam?" He asks after a few minutes. I glance towards Gemma.

"No, dad, just enough for us 3." She replies, looking back at me as if to keep my mouth shut. I've never known her to chicken out of anything before, but I put my head down and stared at the bowl of milk.

\---

The end of summer came way quicker than any of us had hoped, which meant Gemma was going to be leaving us very soon. Tomorrow. Gemma wanted to grab some last bits before she left, so me and Gemma jumped into her car and began the drive to the supermarket. We ended up driving past Liam, who was running. He'd join the schools running team last year 'to help keep fit.' I watch him run past us a little longer than I should have before sighing and looking back out the front window.

We spend the rest of the morning grabbing all sorts of bits and bobs; hair bobbles, snacks for the drive, deodorant etc. I was pushing the trolly, and I smirked at Gemma before running and riding the trolly, which caused other customers to give me dirty looks. I just grinned back at them, laughing. Gemma caught up with me and playfully slapped the back of my head. "You're gonna get us kicked out of 'ere one of these days, ya know that?" She says, scolding me playfully whilst laughing. I shrug and continue pushing the trolly to the tills.

Once we're home, we prepare a chicken salad for lunch and enjoy the rest of the day as a family. The rest of the day is boring as we watch movies and eat our weight in sugary treats. I glance towards Gemma; she doesn't notice as shes way too focused on the TV. She's going to be gone until Christmas, and that's the longest I'll be without her. She's my best friend as well as my sister, and I'm going to miss her incredibly.

Suddenly, I felt panicky, and I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat. It's always been Gem and me. What was I supposed to do without her? Most brothers and sisters hate each other and want to strangle each other, but not me and her. I started to feel teary as I made an excuse to run upstairs.

I grabbed my phone and called my other best friend, Niall. I paced my room as I waited for him to answer. As I waited, I began to bite at my nails. Eventually, he answered, and I finally let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding. "Hey Haz, what's up?" He says in his usual chirpy Irish accent.

"Gemma leaves soon," I reply. "It's sorta freaking me out, Nialler. I don't know what to do -" I continue rambling my anxieties out to him before he eventually cuts me off.

"Haz. Haz! Hazza! Take a deep breath." I stop and do as he said. I inhale for a count of four seconds before exhaling for four seconds. He gets me to repeat that a few times until my breathing started to go back to normal. "There we go. I know it's scary, but she won't be gone forever. And you can still call and text her, maybe even visit her some time, aye? All is not lost. Plus, it'll be good for you, I think, to be able to do your own thing."

I sigh; Niall was right. I nod, then remember he can't see me. "Yeah... yeah. You're right. Sorry, man. I just didn't know what to do."

We continued to talk for a while before we hung up. I went downstairs but saw Gemma wasn't there anymore until I heard her shout. I jog back upstairs, and I find her in her room. She was knelt on the floor with her suitcase and bags open and spread out. "Can you help me?" She looked exasperated. I chuckle and nod.

I sorted out her bath stuff, ensuring lids were on correctly, things weren't out of date, and she had enough of everything to keep her going for as long as possible. She was going through her clothes and asking me my opinion even though I know she wouldn't listen, but I still answered her questions.

"You'll still be coming home for Chrismas, right?" I ask as I hand her her clear shower bag.

She looked up at me and smiled nodding. "Of course."

She wasn't packing very much. If it were me, I'd be packing up everything I owned. I sat on the end of her bed and looked around. Gemma sat beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into her side in a side hug.

"Everythings changing." I sigh softly.

Gemma shakes her head, squeezing me. "No, it's not, not really. We'll always be Haz and Gem. Together until the end."

Suddenly, a knock is heard at the door. Our dad stood in the door frame with a sad smile on his face. "I'm gonna load up the car." He announces as he grabs one of the suitcases and lugs it downstairs. He comes back and grabs the rest but not without commenting, "Oh, no, don't get up. Don't trouble yourself."

Me and Gemma laugh and reply, "Oh, we won't!"

I shuffle and lay my head in Gemma's lap and look up at her. "So, you're really coming home for Christmas, right?" I ask for the thousandth time.

Gemma plays with my hair as she looks down at me. "Right."

I frown. "I wish I could come with you."

She chuckles and nods. "I know you do, Haz, but you gotta look after yourself and dad, make sure he doesn't overwork himself." I nod as I scan her face to see if she's scared of leaving or if she's going to miss us at all, but I don't see anything.

I end up staying in Gemma's room that night. It's pretty weird for us to do that anymore; we haven't since we were kids, but I'm glad we did. I lay on my back in the dark. Gemma was already fast asleep, but I was wide awake. I couldn't sleep.

"Harry? You awake?" I hear beside me. I jump but whisper back, "Yeah."

"Do you think you've ever been in love before? Real love?" She asks after a couple of seconds.

I try to come up with an answer, but she's already speaking again. "I wish I'd been in love more than once. I think everyone should fall in love more than once." Then she sighs, and she's pulled back into la-la land.

\---

I woke up in the middle of the night, and Gemma wasn't beside me anymore. I sat up and looked around. I slide out of bed and watch out of the window; at first, the moon but then something catches my eye. I look down and see two figures; Gemma and Liam. Gemma is looking towards the moon, and Liam is crying. I move away and crawl back into bed and try to erase what I just saw. That wasn't for my eyes to see.

I wonder what it would be like to have a boy like you so much that he cries for you? Not just any boy, but Liam. Our Liam.

To answer her question: Yes, I think I have been in real love.

Just once.

With Liam.

Our Liam.


End file.
